Welcome to the Concrete Versailles

Tomorrow night, at about midnight, I expect to drive past the Stade de France on my way to Madrid. Two Decembers ago, I’ve visited the stadium on the last day of my stay in Paris. Given the choice between the Musee Rodin and the UFO-like structure I had seen on my way into Paris, I opted for the latter. Rodin will wait, and I will be damned if the second stadium Barcelona ever won a Champions League final in will be torn down before I get to see it, much like the first was. I know, and knew then, that such a demolition isn’t in any way impending, but I figured to be better safe than sorry.

Saint-Denis, where the stadium is actually located, is rather dreary, which is as much of an understatement as is calling Paris quite nice. I arrived early, meaning I had to wait on the concrete and rain-soaked tundra’s around the stadium for about an hour, while a couple of local youths, which sounds incredibly more idyllic than it actually was, walked around menacingly without shirt. Because why wouldn’t they? Uneasily, I stepped into the one store that was open, which I remember being an enormous building filled with all sorts of gardening equipment.

After finally being allowed into the stadium I was confronted with the disappointment of encountering a stadium which did not remotely resemble a football stadium. I was welcomed by a kind French girl, dressed in an enormous purple-white cow’s outfit, to Milka’s “Dream of Snow”, an event whose attendance record did not seem to equal this girl’s enthusiasm.

But in spite of this initial disappointment, I did experience one particular moment which I would like to share with you. This December was the one in 2006, or as it is probably known in France: the year Zinedine Zidane retired. When my group was guided into the dressing rooms and we were asked if anybody had any questions, every single French person in my group, which was everyone but me, wanted to know the exact same thing; where did Zidane used to sit?

I hope this is the story I remember when I pass by the stadium tomorrow, and not the fact that this stadium is yet another example of the exodus clubs have undertaken in the past ten years to leave the neighbourhoods that made them great for more accessible but identity less slabs of concrete.

- it may or may not be clear to you after this post, but tomorrow I’m leaving on a rather ill-advised roadtrip to Madrid and back. This will take me a couple of days. I don’t know if I’ll have the time to post anything, but if I don’t, at least check back next week for a post on why I and my friends will be the undoing of Atletico Madrid.

The Day of Reckoning is Here. Finally.

Here is just a quick look at a couple of scenarios for today, the final day of the regular season of the Dutch football league.

Championship, and the automatic Champions League qualification that goes with it.

1 AZ 33 21 9 3 72 81 - 28
2 Ajax 33 22 6 5 72 82 - 35
3 PSV 33 22 6 5 72 70 - 24

AZ - AZ can win their first title in twenty-five years. They play away at lowly Excelsior, who's spot in the relegation play-offs is already a sure thing, so they are likely to rest some starters. A win, barring a blowout in Tilburg, will ensure AZ the championship, the first one since their last one twenty-five years ago outside of what the Dutch call the Traditional Top 3: Ajax, Feyenoord and PSV.

What to expect - You can never be sure about these things, and I've already told you I loathe making predictions, however I will say this: If AZ win the title, expect Louis van Gaal's head to increasingly turn purple, and ultimatly explode.

Ajax - Only two people in this world remain confident Ajax will win the title this afternoon, and those are Henk ten Cate and a crazy homeless guy on a corner somewhere in Amsterdam. Ajax plays away at Willem II, whom they have never had a particular problem with beating, and who's season, for all intents and purposes, is over. However, in case of even the most minimal of AZ wins, a 0-1, Ajax needs to score nine goals. They were well on their way to doing so last week, untill Ten Cate had the genius plan to sub a defender for an extra striker after twenty minutes while already being 3-0 up, and they quickly conceded two.

What to expect - Expect Ten Cate to frantically list every time either the field or a referee decision cost them points, Danny Blind-style. And guess what? They fired Blind. Just saying.

PSV - Were up eleven points months ago. Dropped those points. Idiots. In case of an AZ win, need to score at least ten. Not going to happen. They will score three, Koeman will bring a twelve year old for Farfan and that's all she wrote. In case AZ drops points, they still have a chance to provide the worst meltdown in Dutch Football with the fairytale ending Cocu deserves.

What to expect - Expect Cocu to publically ignore any and all 'tactical' plans by Koeman. Expect whoever is in charge in Eindhoven this week - seriously, they have like a new president every week! - to fire Koeman on the spot, making him the first Koeman to be fired this year, but certainly not the last.

Fifth Place, and the automatic UEFA Cup Goodness and ticket for the CL qualifiers playoff that goes with it.

I'll admit it, hardly anybody cares about this but me. Why? I'll show you.

5 Feyenoord 33 15 8 10 53 55 - 61
6 SC Heerenveen 33 15 7 11 52 55 - 42
7 Roda JC 33 14 9 10 51 40 - 36
8 FC Groningen 33 15 6 12 51 54 - 52

Feyenoord - Koeman decided to drop as many points in one season as he could without getting fired, and I must say, a job well done. Feyenoord plays Heerenveen away and needs a win to clinch the position. But Feyenoord hasn't won in a loooong time. A draw might also suffice, but only if Roda and Groningen don't win.

What to expect - Tears, and the first time in the history of football two brothers will be fired on the very same day.

Heerenveen - Also need a win, which would take them over opponents Feyenoord and into europe. They have two advanteges over Feyenoord. 1: they play at home. 2: they aren't a complete farce of a club.

What to expect - A goal by Brazilian striker Alves, at the very least.

Roda JC - Needs a draw between Feyenoord and Heerenveen and a win a bigger win at home against Heracles than a possible Groningen win against Utrecht. Roda's goal difference is better than Feyenoord's, so it would ensure them of fifth place. Hey it can happen! Heracles is done, safe, which means it hasn't anything more to play for and that could be why Roda will mess this up.

What to expect - No draw in the north and a win down south. A frustrated blogger.

Groningen - Can also by-pass Feyenoord and Heerenveen in case of that elusive draw in Heerenveen, but in case of a Roda win also needs to work on it's goal difference against Utrecht, which still has alot to play for.

What to expect - Everything that loves Groningen to curse the decision to insist on playing the final 43 minutes of their game against Ado, which was ended prematurely because of riots. Groningen hoped to work on the aforementioned goal difference in those final 43 minutes after having gone up 0-3 in the first 47 minutes, but instead conceded one goal and scored nill.

Anyways, that's it for me for now, I'm off to Tilburg to work at Willem II - Ajax. I'll weigh in tonight on some of the consequences todays games will have, so check back later! Unless Roda does actually make fifth place, in which case I will check in whenever my hangover wears off.

Up in the Sky

I’ve long wondered exactly what specific sight in football I hold dearest, and yesterday I was reminded of it once again. Sure, moments like the one Messi provided us with last week are breathtaking. They dominate my days, or at least my free time. But for sheer television drama, I’ll go with a moment only very rarely seen. You forget about it through the long, gruelling course of the season until in the final game, maybe the game before that, you can see it again.

Like most leagues, the Dutch league has a format in which all the games on the final one or two rounds of the season are played at exactly the right moment, barring some sort of excuse for a crowd like ADO den Haag’s, who found it necessary to ruin the final game ever to be played in their somewhat legendary stadium. But all the games of the 33rd round neatly kicked off simultaneously at the blow of a whistle, and other than the ADO game, they all ended at roughly the same time as well.

The situation at the top of the league here in Holland is close. PSV, in what must surely be one of the most spectacular meltdowns in human history, blew away what was once an eleven point lead to get both Ajax and AZ back into the race for the title. The former politely passed on a momentous opportunity to take the lead two weeks ago, the latter never had a chance to do so – until yesterday. And it was one of those moments I cherish so much.

AZ led SC Heerenveen two to one, when in the 85th minute, the stadium erupted. Now, stadiums tend to erupt, so nothing particularly strange there, but there had been no immediate cause for the mass celebration that took place here. A mere throw in was accompanied by the biggest explosion of joy in Alkmaar I have ever seen, and then I understood, what had happened. Some fifty kilometres to the south, Utrecht had equalized against PSV, putting AZ, if they would just beat Heerenveen, at the top of the table for the first time in the season. A minute later, with the AZ fans still in the midst of their most primal scream, Simon Cziommer scored with a beautiful long distance lob to put AZ up three to one, and the people on the stands had to gasp for air so they could scream some more.

In Amsterdam Ajax fans, up five to two, stopped paying attention to the game and started watching the massive scoreboards. That complete uncertainty about one’s own fate is one of the sights I enjoy the most about football. It’s the purest mixture of fear, hope and anticipation you’ll find. Me? As a Roda JC fan, I never have to worry about winning the title or not. But next week, I worry about fifth place and the automatic European ticket it provides. I hope Roda beats Heracles. I hope Heerenveen and Feyenoord tie. I hope Groningen doesn’t win its game by a bigger margin than Roda does. I fear one of these things will not happen. But in a production truck near the Willem II stadion, I’ll be watching the numbers, completely uncertain of my own (club’s) fate. And I will love it.

Keep Your Eyes on the Road, Your Hands upon the Wheel

I don’t remember exactly what year it happened. But there was a time when the Fruitella-filled trip in the backseat of my parents’ car to where I was actually going was one of the highlights of the entire vacation. Fights with my sister over pillows, nagging my parents over what music should be played, running around the sunny French or German stops along the route. All of it seemed even better than the two-week stay at some Austrian or French campsite itself. And all of it was always accompanied by the same old tune.

’We zijn er bijna, we zijn er bijna, maar nog niet helemaal’

Which translates to

’We’re almost there, almost there, but not quite yet’

But when I grew up, I didn’t feel like singing it anymore. I wanted to get out of the car as fast as possible. I wanted to be there already and swim. The fact that I was almost there but not quite yet didn’t seem like cause for celebration and singing anymore.

Two years ago, both PSV and AZ crashed out of their respective European competitions in the most dramatic fashion possible. They had been almost there, but not quite yet.

Everyone grows up eventually. PSV and AZ have stopped singing.

Magpies Crash Out in Holland [Skysports]
Gunners Bow Out in Alex Show [Skysports]